i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
that's an acceptable place to lick
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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