If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
