i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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