very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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