So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
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