He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
