If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
