I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
