i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Drake has all the answers
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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