He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
