you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
