I didn't shave. On purpose
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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