KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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