Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
