In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize