just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
operation have a gay friend backfired
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
