is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
