go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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