census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Couch. On fire.
Randomize