At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
