Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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