Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize
