A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize