I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
