PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
