I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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