Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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