My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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