why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize