Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
