Soap is not a condiment
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
