Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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