She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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