i was rollin on her like bob the builder
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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