i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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