It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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