shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
