He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
