I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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