he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
my poor anus
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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