don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
