If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I looked at my own cervix.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
