My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
