he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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