Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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