were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
