Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
