We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm at about main and main street
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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