i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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