Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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