I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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