She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
