she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
