I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
