You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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