So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
