she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
