How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
