she looked like the before picture.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
