He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize