Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
