Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
