mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
