if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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