Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
