if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
