Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
