I'm so fucking centered right now
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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