i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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