I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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