I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
