We need to rekindle our bromance
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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