In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
