she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
