They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
