You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
