For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
