you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Quick, to the slutcave!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
