So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
