I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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