Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
