This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
