You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
